i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
he high fived his dick after we had sex
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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