3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
