im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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