If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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