What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
