This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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