Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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