If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
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It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize