Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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