We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm passing your future prison.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Randomize
