I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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