I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
