ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She's the barista slut.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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