Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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