Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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