I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
