I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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