You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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