Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The feeling are messing with the penis
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
