addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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