my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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