you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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