can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize