you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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