I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
