im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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