You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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