Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize