five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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