It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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