i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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