Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
