well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
