Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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