ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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