i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
