is your mom at the bar?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just found puke in my bra..
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
