You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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