her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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