you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
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I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
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Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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