If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
