Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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