I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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