I wish i was in the wii world.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
