So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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