I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Too much gin, very little bucket
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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