hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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