So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
