Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hello my rib-scented angel!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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