I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
