She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
