yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
