You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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