i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
