ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
