Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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