On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I bet he comes in French.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
