She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
