i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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