I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
