dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
