My nipple is on Facebook.
babies were throwing up all over the place
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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